Might mean (unverified): Imposing expectations on oneself, others.
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We found 2 dictionaries that define the word shoulding:

General (2 matching dictionaries)
  1. shoulding: Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary
  2. shoulding: Wiktionary

Definitions from Wiktionary (shoulding)

noun:  The cognitive distortion of making statements of what should be true, as opposed to reality.

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