Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase only fooling myself.
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Reverse dictionary results:
1. private
2. free
3. cheating
4. fool
5. gag
6. fun
7. serious
8. kidding
9. honest
10. transparent
11. really
12. come
13. gee
14. absolute
15. apart
16. aside
17. bar
18. naive
19. not
20. psyche
21. sophistry
22. housecoat
23. in-joke
24. carefree
25. chicanery
26. detail
27. egg
28. ferret
29. lose
30. loses
31. love game
32. potshot
33. sashay
34. seriously
35. slam
36. slamming
37. sophistic
38. sophistical
39. tank top
40. window dressing

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You can look up the words in the phrase individually using these links:   only ?   fooling ?   myself ?
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