Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase urge to kill yourself.
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Reverse dictionary results:
1. die
 2. dying
3. killed
4. killing
5. murdered
6. shoot
7. shot
8. slay
9. suicide
10. murder
 11. bloodlust
12. self-destruct
13. died
14. call
15. death wish
16. envy
17. application
18. please
19. suicidal
20. put
 21. question
22. caution
23. prick
24. make
25. abject
26. appropriate
27. arrogate
28. collar
29. croodle
30. espouse
 31. gore
32. gored
33. hair
34. lead
35. lust
36. luxuria
37. teem
38. undertake
39. vow
40. defend

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You can look up the words in the phrase individually using these links:   urge ?   to ?   kill ?   yourself ?
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Not helpful? You might try using the wildcards * and ? to find the word you're looking for. For example, use
urge*to search for words beginning with urge, or
*selfto search for words ending with self
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