Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase soften someone up.
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Reverse dictionary results:
1. coax
2. persuade
3. ingratiate
4. butter up
5. sweet-talk
6. bait
7. attract
8. decoy
9. ingle
10. inveigle
11. lure
12. tice
13. tole
14. wheedle
15. wile
16. tempt
17. beguile
18. cajole
19. goad
20. magnetize
21. whitemail
22. allect
23. behight
24. chivvy
25. engle
26. intrigue
27. seduce
28. tamper
29. tantalize
30. tempter
31. challenge
32. ensorcell
33. toady
34. beguiler
35. engage
36. entice
37. goading
38. intice

You can look up the words in the phrase individually using these links:   soften ?   someone ?   up ?
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soft*to search for words beginning with soft, or
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