Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase i want to kill myself.
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Reverse dictionary results:
1. suicidal
2. depressed
3. desperate
4. overwhelmed
5. despondent
6. agonizing
7. bale
8. dismal
9. evil
10. heartbreaking
11. heartsick
12. lethally
13. loss
14. punishing
15. sorrowed
16. sufferance
17. sufferation
18. affliction
19. agony
20. ail
21. anguished
22. anguishing
23. bereaved
24. bereaven
25. brokenhearted
26. calamitous
27. crippling
28. crushing
29. depreciatively
30. depressing
31. destructively
32. disheartening
33. distressful
34. dolor
35. downhearted
36. downheartedness
37. enormous
38. grief
39. grief-stricken

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You can look up the words in the phrase individually using these links:   i ?   want ?   to ?   kill ?   myself ?
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