Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase hesitating at first.
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Reverse dictionary results:
1. ambiguous
2. falter
3. hesitation
4. shilly-shally
5. doubt
6. hesitate
7. now
8. ready
9. backward
10. readily
11. dilly-dally
12. hack
13. hacking
14. hum
15. readied
16. readies
17. readying
18. sure
19. peep
20. lisp
21. loath
22. lug
23. pause
24. scruple
25. scruples
26. stagger
27. staggered
28. staggering
29. strain
30. waver
31. halt
32. let
33. lets
34. letting
35. peeping
36. peeps
37. perp
38. stop
39. act
40. assent

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You can look up the words in the phrase individually using these links:   hesitating ?   at ?   first ?
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