Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase being too hard on oneself.
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Reverse dictionary results:
1. self-criticism
 2. self-judgment
3. self-reproach
4. perfectionism
5. harshness
6. grundy
7. overambitiousness
8. autocritical
9. hypercritical
10. overbearingness
 11. overprotectiveness
12. self-abasement
13. self-deprecating
14. self-deprecation
15. superstition
16. ultracautious
17. amor fati
18. autocriticism
19. autocritique
20. compulsive
 21. curiousness
22. extreme prejudice
23. hypocritic
24. inferiority complex
25. meddlesomeness
26. overambition
27. overconfidence
28. overnice
29. perfectionistic
30. pollyannaish
 31. positive
32. preachy
33. scrupulosity
34. scrupulous
35. self-conscious
36. self-disgust
37. self-doubt
38. self-flagellation

You can look up the words in the phrase individually using these links:   being ?   too ?   hard ?   on ?   oneself ?
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