Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase be hard on oneself.
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Reverse dictionary results:
1. strive
 2. swink
3. commitment
4. exert
5. give
6. ill
7. bend
8. bended
9. bends
10. bens
 11. brag
12. bring
13. come
14. dig
15. drag
16. drown
17. groove
18. knock
19. knuckle down
20. neck
 21. overreach
22. overreaching
23. pain
24. ply
25. press
26. pressed
27. puff
28. puffed
29. push
30. root
 31. run
32. scarce
33. scratch
34. shoulder
35. skin
36. tug
37. work
38. catch
39. draw
40. break

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You can look up the words in the phrase individually using these links:   be ?   hard ?   on ?   oneself ?
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