Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase allowing oneself to be tortured.

Reverse dictionary results:
1. self-deception
 2. submit
3. expose
4. broken
5. free
6. run
7. runs
8. sweat
9. come
10. control
 11. face
12. fall
13. fix
14. get
15. have
16. ill
17. list
18. lose
19. pull
20. put
 21. quit
22. rise
23. stretched
24. throw
25. treated
26. used
27. agitated
28. angry
29. ate
30. atone
 31. bear
32. case
33. doctor
34. doctored
35. doctoring
36. dose
37. masochism
38. press
39. receive
40. received

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